Perseverance and Techno Beats

Man, I just did not feel normal at all today. I wasn't in a bad mood or anything like that, but it's like my mind was a little slow or something. Just a strange feeling I couldn't shake all day. In a fog. Actually, I still feel that way as I'm typing this -- like I'm on cold medicine or something...only, I'm not. Like my mind is detached. Whatever.

I got in the studio anyway because I'm so close to finishing this next song. I don't want to say the title to the song just yet because it's kind of quirky and I'd rather just surprise people and see if they can hear the storyline of the title in the actual music itself. But yeah, I was working on that song, and I'm kind of excited because I'm pretty close to finishing it. I used that excitement as motivation. And I just used some plain ol' perseverance too. I was musing a few days ago that, "Responsibility is doing what needs to be done even when you don't feel like doing it." I was responsible today.

It paid off too. I'm on the verge of completing this track. A couple more tweaks (tonight or tomorrow), and I think I can call this done and move on to the next. The mix is just about right too, so hopefully it won't take weeks to master an already finished track (like that song "Even After" that took me forever to master).

This song also is the only track on the record with anything resembling a dance beat. I used real drum samples throughout the track, but when it turns fast I layered the kicks with 808 kick drums and an open hi-hat. You know, dance music. Haha! It's not full on Night At The Roxbury techno "Boom sss boom sss," but there's certainly a dance influence. It was necessary. Can't wait for people to hear this one.

Melodic Conversations and "Precipice"

I originally posted the next (italicized) paragraph on my iLike account maybe a month ago, but I thought I'd move it here instead to consolidate all of my entries into one place. I was musing that morning on the feelings/meanings behind my music -- and how some people may not even hear any of it when they listen.

I don't expect that everyone will get it. Not everyone does. But, there's like a conversation going on in the rhythms and melodies and overall sonic textures of the tracks -- one that feels like it began before I even stumbled upon it really. And, I think it's that non-verbal musical conversation that resonates with the people who do understand -- who feel and hear and travel to the same places the music takes me.

I've been told before that my music is very visual, and I think that's true. At least, I know while playing some of the songs I get transported to certain places -- sometimes very specific places -- not in an out-of-body sort of way, but more in mood or memories. One of the songs I'm finishing up now is called "Precipice (Mary Couldn't Keep Us Alive)," and that's one of those tracks that really takes me to a specific place while I perform it (hence the very specific second part of the song title).

The "Precipice" feeling comes from the rhythm. It starts and stops, and then drops you suddenly, and then catches you again; but you're never really at ease that it will catch you again the next time around. The lead guitar parts are where the "Mary Couldn't Keep Us Alive" part of the name comes from. I was playing these notes on my guitar, just kind of lost in the moment and lost in the music...and then out of nowhere this scene just popped up, this very specific experience I was in months earlier. And it's like those notes were a time machine and BAM! I was back at this very specific place in time...of uncertainty...of almost certain peril...of feeling dangerously perched over a precipice and knowing that even Mother Mary couldn't keep us from the doom that awaited us. It was a very emotional experience, being taken back to that moment, but I knew that's where the magic was, so I hit record.

I know that not everyone will be taken to the exact same place I was while recording the song (they couldn't be; there were only two people there, at that precise moment). However, I think the feelings inherent in the music will translate to others. The feelings of finding clarity in danger and seeing beauty in sadness and discovering a new order out of chaos might resonate to every listener and not just me. Or, I guess it's possible somebody might not hear any of that; they just might like the way it sounds.

The Light Of Day Test

So, there's this test I use on my music. I call it the "Light of Day" test. Music, for some reason, just sounds better at night. You know the feeling, right? When you're out late, listening to a band play live, nodding your head, lost in the moment, lost in the music. It's mesmerizing. Or, you're traveling somewhere, it's pitch black outside the window, but you have one of your favorite songs blaring through your earphones. You hear new things in the music; the song takes on a deeper meaning. It's magical. It's a mystery.

So, why is this important to know? Well, if you're a musician, this phenomenon can be dangerous -- especially if you're crafting a lot of your music at night. In those late hours, that "cool new track" may be sounding a lot more magical than it really is. This has happened to me many times before -- which is why I now test every idea in the light of day before I go any further with it. And, I bring this up today because it just happened to me again, haha!

I have a ton of partial ideas for songs tucked away on my hard drive. A bassline here, a drumbeat there, a guitar riff or keyboard loop...or something magical worth keeping. To stay organized, I give all of these ideas temporary working titles before they ever turn into actual songs (with their own meanings and hence their own meaningful titles). Most of the time there is absolutely no substance to the working titles; it's just what word happens to pop in my head when I need to save it. The idea I was working on a couple days ago is temporarily called "Dulce." It's called "Dulce," but it's not really a "sweet" melody; it's more sinister...but I digress.

So, I've had this guitar idea called "Dulce" for a few years now, and I haven't been able to do anything with it. I even sent it to a drummer friend of mine when I first made it, and although he liked it as much as I did, he couldn't do anything with it either. Well, fast-forward to a couple of nights ago, I decided to pull it up and work on it. Breakthrough! I finally discovered what this idea was trying to say. I finally had a direction for it! I mean, I was grooving on it. New drums, new bass. All kinds of things happening. This one guitar loop (which is quite cool, by the way) was finally taking shape into a complete concept -- a complete song! Excitedly, I worked on it for hours that night, and it was sounding so good that I was really thinking about putting that on the album in place of one of the other tracks that are slated to be on it. And then....

And then I heard it in the light of day yesterday. Ouch! I thought, "Am I hearing this wrong?" Listened again. Nope. Not hearing it wrong at all. It was bad. Tough-to-listen-to bad. Garbage. Embarrassing. Haha! Oh well, I guess that idea won't be replacing any of the songs that are slated to be on the album after all. Honestly, I just have to laugh when that happens. Failure is part of the process of success. As an artist you've got to be willing to make mistakes -- and accept it when you do. One day that guitar loop will finally have its voice, but for now it's going back to sleep for a while. I've got other songs to finish.